Unsure

I woke up this morning pretty excited to start a new project. I prepared breakfast for my son and sent him to school. I had my usual cups of darjeeling with milk to wake me up. I checked my mails, then my facebook then I read my yesterdays blog. White, green and black...that is what I said. But then that is not what I feel like using anymore. I took out a fresh canvas and started setting up my usual corner in the kitchen. At first I took out red and brown..started mixing them and applying them on my fresh canvas. I took out black and white and applied them as well. First I was using a big flat brush, then moved to a smaller round brush. I squeezed more colors in my palette. I added yellow, pink. green and started mixing them. I changed brushes and even brush strokes...I used tissue papers and foams. I used everything that I can see around me. Then I looked on my canvas filled with all kinds of colors, brush strokes and effects except substance and meaning. I was too excited to reflect on my feelings. Its 1:49 PM and I ruined a perfectly clean canvas because I failed to see the true meaning of why I am painting.